I'm Struggling

Yup, I said it. There you have it and I'll say it again I have been struggling.

This post is going to be a real one.

Here I am in the third month of the year and if your year was anything like mine, January was a great month. January was the start of the New Year. There were so many highs and it was a productive month. I felt as if I was on top of the things God called me to steward. If you were to asked me I would say January started off right. (To God be the glory because it wasn't me at all).

Now moving on to February. February is always a special month. It's the month God saw fit for me to be born and God always makes my birthday something memorable. February was filled with both joy and wisdom.

And here we are, in March, and here is where I say, I am struggling. Every month had its trying times but this month, I felt it even more. I’m struggling in the area of staying focus and using my time wisely. I'm struggling with keeping my monthly goals. I have been thinking a lot. Thinking about regrets I have from my past, the times and opportunities I wasted, my future and where I see God taking me. I have also been struggling to spend quality and intentional time with God (time set apart for Jesus and I). I realized I had to push myself a lot harder to pray and read God's word.

I found myself asking God for forgiveness more and more each day. I have found myself restarting and repenting a lot this month. I thank God that at any moment, we can start over. I thank God that in moments I was not faithful to Him, He remained faithful to me. I thank God that He opened my eyes to see the path I was headed was leading me away from Him. I thank God that no sin is too great to separate me from His love. I thank God His arms are open wide and always ready to receive me. I thank God for being so patient and loving towards me. I thank God for His Holy Spirit that always leads me towards Him and back home with Him. I thank God that this month is not over and anything can happen!

I will end off here. In this month, I found myself stretching my hands out to God and saying “God together we go... again”. And I believe no matter how many "agains" there are, God will always hold my hand until the end.

So Father, with my whole heart and my hands stretched out I say, "Dad together we go, again. I love you Jesus."